ROSY BANGLES

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

ROSY BANGLES

गुलाबी चूड़ियाँ 
प्राइवेट बस का ड्राइवर है तो क्या हुआ,
सात साल की बच्ची का पिता तो है!
सामने गियर से उपर
हुक से लटका रक्खी हैं
काँच की चार चूड़ियाँ गुलाबी
बस की रफ़्तार के मुताबिक
हिलती रहती हैं…
झुककर मैंने पूछ लिया
खा गया मानो झटका
अधेड़ उम्र का मुच्छड़ रोबीला चेहरा
आहिस्ते से बोला: हाँ सा’ब
लाख कहता हूँ नहीं मानती मुनिया
टाँगे हुए है कई दिनों से
अपनी अमानत
यहाँ अब्बा की नज़रों के सामने
मैं भी सोचता हूँ
क्या बिगाड़ती हैं चूड़ियाँ
किस ज़ुर्म पे हटा दूँ इनको यहाँ से?
और ड्राइवर ने एक नज़र मुझे देखा
और मैंने एक नज़र उसे देखा
छलक रहा था दूधिया वात्सल्य बड़ी-बड़ी आँखों में
तरलता हावी थी सीधे-साधे प्रश्न पर
और अब वे निगाहें फिर से हो गईं सड़क की ओर
और मैंने झुककर कहा – 
हाँ भाई, मैं भी पिता हूँ
वो तो बस यूँ ही पूछ लिया आपसे
वर्ना किसे नहीं भाएँगी?
नन्हीं कलाइयों की गुलाबी चूड़ियाँ!
(बाबा नागार्जुन)

ROSY BANGLES

What happened ?
If he is a driver of a private bus,
He is also a father 
Of a seven year old girl either.

There hangs a bunch of rosy bangles
Just above the gear of the bus
With a hook fixed on the roof .
It tosses from right to left pendulously
In a half circle
With the speed of the moving bus.

I couldn't hold 
My curiousity back anymore,
Bending forward I asked.
He was shocked at first,
The mid aged man 
With big mustaches and robust face.
Then gently replied,
"Sir,I repeatedly tell her not to do that,
But she doesn't give an ear to me.
She has kept her dream-assets
Hanging here before my eyes 
For many-many days.

I do think,
"Do they bargain for anything else?"
"Why! why should I remove them from here
And for what reasons?
Saying this he looked at me
I did look into his eyes
Only to find his big and wide eyes
Brimming with pure affection,
His interrogative self totally mellowed.

Once again
His eyes were on the road
I bent once again to tell him
In very low and humble voice,
"Brother, I am also a father."
It was just an asking curiousity,nothing else.
Otherwise,who wouldn't love rosy bangles
Of a daughter's tiny wrists.

Posted by Rajiv at 12:13 AM 

 

कुमार पलाशDecember 14, 2010 at 1:18 AM

Dear Rajiv sir, I was waiting for this only.. Gulabi Chudiyan is one of the famous poems of Baba Nagarjun and your translation is of very high standard. At the level of inquisitiveness and sensitivity, you have touched the soul of the poem... though there are some missing links in the poem but still it is best.. I think you should put your energy and effort in this direction, which will bear you success and fame... while reading your poem, I recall the cosy lines of Sarokini Naidu's poem, see the few lines:

....."Some are meet for a maiden's wrist,
Silver and blue as the mountain mist,
Some are flushed like the buds that dream
On the tranquil brow of a woodland stream,
Some are aglow wth the bloom that cleaves
To the limpid glory of new born leaves...."

I think you have missed the soul of these lines while traslating these lines:

मैं भी सोचता हूँ
क्या बिगाड़ती हैं चूड़ियाँ
किस ज़ुर्म पे हटा दूँ इनको यहाँ से?
और ड्राइवर ने एक नज़र मुझे देखा
और मैंने एक नज़र उसे देखा
छलक रहा था दूधिया वात्सल्य बड़ी-बड़ी आँखों में
तरलता हावी थी सीधे-साधे प्रश्न पर
और अब वे निगाहें फिर से हो गईं सड़क की ओर.....

"Sir,I repeatedly tell her not to do that,
But she doesn't give an ear to me.
She has kept her dream-assets
Hanging before my eyes for many days....

someting is missing here.. I would suggest rather to redo it.. hope u will not take it otherwise.. above all another spark of your creative talent and original thinking in the field of translation..